Bobert can be hired for any of the following services:
motivational speaker
-I have no problem telling you or a group that "life aint so bad" to "suck it up" and "stop feeling sorry for yourself". Heck, I'll even throw in a few "catchy" phrases to get you all fired up and goin'! If this don't work then I will be your (bartender)
bartender
-How difficult can this be? Hire me as your bartender and I will open bottles of Liquor, pour contents into glass, and take tips!
agreeable agent
-Whether to boost your ego or make you look good to your friends I will follow you around and agree with whatever you have to say.
This can be good if your needing that promotion at work or just simply trying to pick up a woman at the bar.
wedding singer
-I cannot sing for crap but if you hire me as your (bartender) nobody would be able to tell, hell they won't even remember anything that happened the next day. This means you can hire me as your (agreeable agent) as a means of benifiting in what ever sick demented scheme that we can plot
prom date
-Oh, hell yeah! I will take your daughter to her prom and I guarantee to have her home by midnight! Cost of this service is negotiable upon receipt of the bitches photo.
photographer
-Hire Bobert as your photographer! I will photograph anything! whether it's a wedding, graduation, crime scene or gang-bang bukake with you and other members from the office, I will take the pics!
cook
-I can make a mean "mac-n-cheese" as well as many other "boxed" delecacies!
lottery consultant
- Hire Bobert to pick your lottery numbers! I can not guarantee that the numbers I choose will be the same as the winning numbers, however I can guarantee that it would have the same odds as if the machine were to choose them.
